Like everyone else, I can’t believe that another year has flown by and Christmas will soon be here. It’s a time for celebrating, with family, friends, animals! It’s a time to share and to reflect. And a time to have a good time if you’ve fallen short on the “good times” goals in the previous 11 months! So I was thinking about all this on the last moonlit night walking the old dog at midnight. The thought thread came around to recalling a conversation I had with my dad right after my mom had died. He was heartbroken. But he said that what made him feel better (however minimal it was at the time) was that they had left nothing unsaid. It was how they always were – everything was an open book.
Over the course of her illness, they had many conversations – not about the inevitable – but about their relationship and the life they lived together. My dad told me my mother had no regrets. And he didn’t have any either. What ever they may have needed to resolve or forgive, they did it. They had always done it, as needed, but as the end became evident, they spent their time together making sure there was truly nothing left unsaid. No regrets.
I know there is unfinished business with most of us – whether life partners, friends or family. How does it happen and can we see our way to “clearing the slate” to ensure that we have no regrets? My parents had “advance notice.” But if dying is the impetus it’s not really a fair deal, is it?
So what’s a plan to live free of regret i
